Growing through Discomfort

featuring support facilitator, NIKI PAPPAS 
and Enneagram Panelists

A 3 Centered Approach for developing Presence in relationships especially when it’s hard.


The quality of our relationships determines
the quality of our lives.   
Esther Perel


February 25-26  2023
9-5 PM
10-4 PM


The Tower Room at New Riff Distilling

All of us grapple with the modern complexities of being in relationship. There are many skilled teachers, trainers, therapists, spiritual guides and coaches working in the trenches with people dealing with the challenges of romantic relationships, family relationships, work relationships and friendships.

The challenges of 2020 invited all of us to GROW THROUGH THE DISCOMFORT in our relationships. Many of us had to expand our approaches because we were dealing with complexities we couldn’t have imagined.

Whether I am sitting with couples, teams, individuals, classes or Enneagram panels, I’m struck by how different the world looks to each of the 9 Enneagram types.

So we’ve created a two day workshop to give you time to really explore the dynamics of relationships through the lens of this powerful system.  There is no better time than this turbulent time in history to work together to understand one another



The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives says the gifted Esther Perel.

Relationships are the cornerstone of our lives and whether it’s a partner, co-worker, friend or family member, it can be so confounding to not only try to understand one another, but also to communicate with one another in a way we can hear each other.  

This workshop is going to be live, real time exploration of how we can use the Enneagram and the power of discomfort in relationships to grow.


  • 3 Centered Presence
  • The Enneagram



  • STORIES FROM PEOPLE IN REAL RELATIONSHIPS through the lens of their Enneagram style and Dominant Center.

    A group of the same type can initially appear to have nothing in common, because you initially see their differences in gender, age, race, profession and how they appear. 

    Within a short amount of time, they begin to feel similar. Their stories, their choices, their preferences, their goals, what they avoid and what they desire, start to have a commonality.

    When your attention moves beyond surface cues, you can recognize type. You see their hopes and challenges. Your heart is open and moved.

    From Leslie: When I went through my Enneagram training and heard my first Narrative Enneagram panels, I felt like I understood my parents and my partner in a way I hadn’t before. It wasn’t the books that opened my heart. It was the stories and the distinct suffering of these types. I was so moved. 

    From a panel participant:

    Leslie, I want to express my deep appreciation for your teaching. I especially love your deep respect for each person who speaks but especially so for those who shared on the panel.

    Your gentleness with an instrument like the Enneagram that can be misused to invoke shame or guilt is really inspirational.
    Susan Smith, Panel Participant



    In this Sunday portion of the workshop, audience volunteers will have the opportunity to choose someone from the audience who shares the same type as someone with whom you’re experiencing a challenge/confusion or with whom you have had a past challenging experience. 

    You have the opportunity to share an issue and then listen to how another person with this type hears you. They share their view without defensiveness (since you’re not in a real relationship) and you have the opportunity to hear what’s at stake for them.

    Leslie and Niki create a safe space to share and provide grounding practice, coaching and insight.

    From Leslie: I was slightly skeptical with the Live Interactions the first time I participated. Within a short period of time, my skepticism receded. I volunteered and chose to do an interaction with a woman who reminded me of someone important to me who had died. As I shared, it was as if this woman knew her. I felt so much compassion and received an insight on my part in the challenge that I hadn’t been able to see before. It was healing and insightful. To this day, this interaction has stayed with me.

    When I left, I knew I needed to create compassionate spaces for others to do the same. 



    Repetition is one of the four components of people who change. Practice matters. 

    In this portion of the workshop, you will learn the inner practice of gentle self-observation integrated with a practical knowledge of your Enneagram pattern so you can insert the power of The Pause, see your habit, accept it with kindness and let go of your reactivity  in order to become more fully present to ourselves, others and Spirit or whatever you call that which is larger than yourself. 

    You will also benefit from Leslie’s training in Somatic Experiencing, a way of working with yourself that incorporates your human body’s normal responses to strong emotions when in relationship.

    You will reflect on a core PAUSE practice to  can take your learning into your real life. 




    In this portion of the workshop, you do a breakout session with people of your type. This is so insightful to come into direct contact with how you come across to others and experience how they come across to you. Together, with others of your type, you explore the gifts and challenges of being in relationship and learn ways you can be more present to those who matter to you. 

 “I think the Enneagram is here because we need it on a global basis.

We need to take more responsibility for the thoughts and emotions that guide our emotions in the world
and to experience the reality of standing in someone else’s shoes.

We need to know that objective reality appears to be quite different from another type’s perspective,
yet each has its own logic and integrity.”

—Helen Palmer



    What others say:



    Leslie is both warm hearted, and thoughtful in her teaching and coaching. I have witnessed her depth of knowledge, teaching skill, and awareness. I consider her a brilliant teacher and life coach. Her insight into the fundamentals of their personal and spiritual development makes her teaching especially poignant. I recommend her highly. You will benefit from your experience with her.
    David Daniels, M.D., co-founder of the Enneagram Professional Training Program (EPTP) and Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Stanford Medical School

    Leslie’s presentation impressed me deeply because of its integrative focus and clarity. I have come to understand and admire Leslie’s very deep and very broad perspective on spiritual pursuits and practice. I have also come to know what a gifted, patient, and generous teacher she is.
    Jack Killen, Director of the Office of International Health Research (OIHR), National Institute of Health, National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine

    What drew me to Leslie on YouTube was her compassionate, non-judgmental approach and her intelligence. She clearly knew her stuff!  I had been blocked for several years regarding a particular project, but as Leslie astutely observed, the block was about much more than my project.

    Through a process of deep listening and intuitively sensing what tools and practices might help me, she guided me in a process of being present to my experience which led to a profound internal shift. As I continue to practice daily what she has taught me, I am happy to report that the block is dissolving little by little. As someone who had been stuck for years, this is quite remarkable.

    She’s a wise, skillful counsellor with a great sense of humour and you will come away the richer for it.
    Marianne, Australia


    So many tell us they wished they’d known what a big role the body plays in the development of our type as they may not have beaten themselves up so hard for doing the same thing again and again.

    Our bodies have somatic contraction (clench) against your FEELING life force (virs) when we are under stress! 

    The good news is your body has wisdom! Somatic practices bring you into deeper contact with our body’s feeling state in the present moment. Leslie’s clients attest to the power of body awareness and practice.


    We have a core human need for connection to support well being. The development of your Enneagram EMOTIONAL habit develops as a response to the people and the world around you.

    Heart centered practices are designed to help you deepen attunement with yourself and others.

    We don’t grow in a vacuum. We need one another.

    Something shifts when we are with people in a rich, supportive learning environment.



    sThe generalizing tendency of our Enneagram attention patterns happens quickly in our head. Unfortunately, your Head Center is the LEAST RELIABLE center as it moves so fast and doesn’t incorporate the other two centers.

    Head centered practices are designed to increase clarity and intuitive perception unfettered by the habits of our type.

    Collective Awareness

    New to Leslie’s Enneagram work is an exploration of
    COLLECTIVE AWARENESS which includes dimensions that impact your self-identity like family of origin, friendship, social isolation, culture, gender and race and social systems.

    “Do not ignore pain.
    Give it purpose.
    Use it.

    “There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it.

    If only we’re brave enough to be it.” 

    Amanda Gorman

    Anais Nin Quote

    Where are you now?

    Until we can hear the heart and soul of another human being, we cannot truly be in an attuned and connected relationship.

    Are we in our automatic head space with all of its assumptions and projections? Or are we clear headed and open?

    Are we caught up in the turbulent heart of emotions and over-dependent on image? Or are we attuned with the heart of compassion to self and the other?

    Are we ungrounded, stubborn, defensive or contracted?  Or are we grounded and flexible?

    Anais Nin Quote

    Deepening self-awareness and interpersonal awareness doesn’t happen in isolation.

    Engage your 3 centers and the Enneagram with others in a rich, supportive, learning environment through participation in a workshop that offers you the opportunity to explore your inner landscape and learn from others.

    Frequently Asked Questions


    Participants can expect a full 3 day in person retreat designed for inner transformation and collective wisdom through present centered listening to other people.

    This means it includes teachings, inner practice, dyads, type groups, panels and time for digestion and contemplation.


    Jesuit Spiritual CenterThe peaceful campus of the Jesuit Spiritual Center spreads over 37 park-like acres overlooking the Little Miami River, and is located a thirty-minute drive east of Cincinnati. It is 5 minutes from Leslie’s office and it has been the location of countless of her Panel Days and retreats.
    You can walk the labyrinth, reflect, do yoga, walk with other participants, listen to the gentle flow of the river. 


    • An optional online WELCOMING EVENT prior to the retreat
    • The 3-day RETREAT
    • LUNCH at the retreat location: The Schott Pavilion at the Jesuit Spiritual Center in Milford, Ohio, 30 minute drive east of Cincinnati, Ohio
    • The COMMUNAL DINNER on Saturday evening catered by Chef Jeffrey Miller
    • Access to the 37 PARK LIKE ACRES, the meditation chapel and the walking LABYRINTH overlooking the scenic Little Miami River
    • MORNING YOGA with Sarah Pritts
    • Learning MATERIALS
    • Leslie’s CENTERS COURSE  ($200 value): to prepare for the retreat, we ask that you listen to or watch 90 minutes of foundational modules in The Centers Approach online course.
    • SCHOLARSHIP FUND for scholarship participants

    Not included:

    • Overnight Accommodations: out of towners will receive a list of local accommodations close to the retreat center.
    • Optional follow-on group facilitator fees
    • Optional follow on teaching and inner practice online webinars with Leslie


    No, Leslie believes that inner transformation isn’t something that can be certified. This retreat calls us into our own agency and inner work. We grow together.
    It is for you as you are part of a larger whole.  As we grow as human beings, it is in service of ourselves and others in the world of love and work.


    We will issue refunds (minus a 5% administrative fee) that are requested 31 days or more before a retreat start date. When the participant cancels 30 days or less before the event, the participant can transfer credit to a future event. No refunds will be issued within 30 days of a retreat.

    Why? There is extensive administrative work and deposits required for an event like this. We are committed to paying our hosts and suppliers a fair wage and if you cancel, we want to have time to offer an opening to others who may be interested in order to ensure our costs are covered.  

    About Your Facilitators

    Leslie Hershberger

    Leslie Hershberger

    who .  Leslie Hershberger: is a teacher, facilitator, business coach/consultant and spiritual guide who integrates the Enneagram in the Narrative Tradition, three centered contemplative practice and Integral theory to help people and groups understand themselves, others and the world through a deeper, more expansive lens.

    She created the internationally popular web course, Coming Home with Ken Wilber and David Riordan of Integral Life and a web course, Between You and Love which focuses on the spiritual dimension of the Enneagram and and facilitated the Integral Enneagram web course, Compassionate Presence, with Helen Palmer, Terry Saracino and Renee Rosario, core faculty of  The Narrative Enneagram.

    She co-designed The Foundations of the Enneagram: The Centers Approach Course which is both a deep and practical way of developing emotional and social intelligence.

    In 2005, she founded Integral Women of Greater Cincinnati which served people moving through stages of faith by integrating wisdom from the great traditions, the Enneagram and spiritual practice.

    She was the Enneagram facilitator for Integral Recovery, worked in faciltation training for the skilled facilitators in the Off the Streets program with women moving through prostitution and addiction.

    Leslie has worked with workers and business leaders for 15 years as a consultant, teacher, facilitator and coach.

    She served on the board of the Enneagram in the Narrative Tradition and the International Enneagram Association from 2014-2019 and has been a regular speaker at conferences.

    In 2019, she was awarded the Anna E. and William F. Madges Award for distinguished contribution to society.

    She leads with Type 7, (Social subtype), lives in Loveland, Ohio with her husband Dave and two adopted dogs. She  is the mother of 3 wonderful adults, the grandmother of 3 very unique grandchildren and the mother-in-law of a Jersey girl and Salvadoran boy. 




    Niki Pappas hails from the corporate world and concurrently, she has been focusing on wellness and spiritual growth for the past 10+ years, following a 20-year career in marketing research.

    Her endeavors have included certifications for holistic health coaching, yoga, Thai bodywork, and currently, the Enneagram. Niki has been involved with The Hive since May 2018 as an eager class participant, facilitator, cohort guide, and, since May 2020, happy member of the Lead Team.

    Leading with Enneagram Type 4, Niki is committed to her own inner work and honored to offer and receive presence and compassion in all of her relationships. Niki lives in OTR and is the mother of two amazing young men.

    Enneagram Wisdom Retreat: October, 2022

    You can pay in full or in installments.

    If you have financial limitations yet would like to attend the retreat, please reach out to Sue Jones for information on scholarships: [email protected]

    Enneagram 3 Centered Collective Wisdom Retreat
    Personalizing Your Enneagram Map: Insight, Practice and Community
    It is recommended you register early as we only have space for 40 people given the focus of the retreat.

    Please note that participants of the in-person retreat must be fully vaccinated and ready to provide proof of vaccination.


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