Every practice below is predicated on the first practice which is a non-negotiable. It may be ridiculously simple, but all good practices are something teachable. Kind of like: Everything I need to know, I learned (on some level) in kindergarten.
1. Encourage them to SLOW DOWN.
This may sound ridiculously simple, but all good practices are. Everything is predicated on this core practice that I offer to 3s: Remember a time when you enjoyed yourself and appreciated the moment. Put down your device. Hang up the phone. Look around you right now. Listen. See. Appreciate. Practice patience with people who move more slowly than you. Appreciate yourself when you aren’t PERFORMING or DOING.
2. Coach them to practice empathy.
Once they begin to slow down, they can taste the experience of relationships beyond function and role. I remind 3s:
Cultivate the fine art of listening. Take time to reflect on another person’s circumstances and ask yourself, “How would I feel if in their position?” (Don’t focus on what you would DO if in their shoes. This is your habit. Focus on how you might FEEL). Communicate your empathy to someone else even when it feels uncomfortable. Write someone a note of appreciation for no other reason than to connect with them.
3. Encourage them to assess their value more honestly.
When 3s can slow down and begin to see we’re not all about what we DO, they can begin to actually HEAR this:
You’re more than your work. Who are you behind your image of success? What do you believe in? What matters to you? Write down 5 qualities about yourself that have nothing to do with your accomplishments. When you get into these “nooks and crannies” inside of yourself, you will seem more genunie and less superficial to others.
4. Learn genuine humility by appreciating and hanging out with people you don’t deem as successful winners.
Get to know them. What other attributes do they have outside of their accomplishments? What might they have that would make you better as a human being? Bigger challenge: Identify 3 skills in your workplace which are crucial to smooth operations, but have nothing to do with you. Thank the people who perform these operations and notice their value daily.
5. Guide them to ask questions and get curious about the world the tasks they DO.
Notice the 3s connection to Type 6. 6s have the head type pattern of asking questions. They naturally consider inferences, patterns and hidden meanings. This is a great practice for 3s. This takes some extra work (notice the need to go AGAINST the arrow meaning it will take a quality of intention…3s can use their energy of efforting to build this new skill).
If you’re a 3, notice your judgments and anger about other people as these are often clues that you feel as if someone is thwarting your ability to be seen as successful or judging you as incompetent or not up to the task.